The emotional place adoptive parents are coming from is the most important driver of their children's wellbeing. As an adoptee AND an adoptive parent Joanna has both perspectives to bring to this topic. Adding what she's learned from working with other adoptive parents makes for a powerful view to help your children thrive.
Joanna Ivey is an adoptee and adoptive parent and has been working in the field of adoption for 16 years. In her work with adoptive families, she meets couples/singles early in their adoption journey and is privileged to get to know them and learn about what brought them to adoption.
She writes, “I often read hopeful adoptive parents write “We feel called to adopt,” and while I’m not here to judge anyone’s faith or how they came to choose adoption, I will share with you why this, as an adoptee, is problematic. If you’ve said the words “I feel called to adopt,” “adoption is about saving a child” or “the child that is meant for you will come to you” I’m going to challenge you to reconsider your perspective, and to do that I’ll speak bluntly about my perspective. I believe you’ve come to this place with all the good intentions in the world. I understand you’re grappling with whatever loss brought you to adoption, and I honor how deeply you want to be a parent. The emotions you’re having are completely normal, but I encourage you to let those be a starting place from which you grow, not your destination. It’s OK to begin here, but don’t end here. Don’t parent from this place because it will impact the child you will be adopting.”
In addition to her work with clients as the owner of Our Chosen Child, Adoption Profile Design she presents and speaks at national conferences, author of The Essential Guide to Adoption Outreach and sits on several national adoption/ethics committees.